Iliedinconfession

I did.  In Grade 2, it was the practice in my "all girls catholic school", to receive our first communion.  Those of you who are mics will know what I mean.  We go to dress up in white frilly dresses, wear veils, and walk down the isle....apparently this is where the wedding planning begins....totally propagated by the church I might add. 

In order to get to this magical occasion, each child must remember every sin they ever committed, reiterate it back to a guy in a fancy cloak, so almight God could forgive you. This was the First Confession.  The First Confession must come before the First Communion Whoops!  I forgot about the pennance.  Depending on the severity of those sins, you were given a pennance.  Depending on the Priest doling them out that particular day, it could range from 10 Hail Mary's, to a whole Novena.

Well.  This day came for me.  It was a layer I will never forget.  I was waiting in line with the rest of my class,  Kneeling there in the front pew, in the Chapel inside of the Convent that was attached to our school.  I was so friggin nervous!  I think I had to go pee twice.  How could those nuns do it every day?   Oh My God!  It was my turn.  I go in the make shift confessional, and we had the choice of sitting down in a chair in front of the priest, or kneel to to side in a fancy frilly kneelie thing with a "privacy" window. (like he didn't know who you were by the voice alone)

Oh my God...will I kneel or will I sit?  OMG?  What do I say..."Bless me Father for I have sinned.  This is my First Confession.  My sins are...And with that the biggest load of lies came out of my mouth.  "I wasn't nice to my little brother" (I didn't have a little brother).  I disobeyed my Father, and I disobeyed my Mother (well I'm sure there was a least a smidgen of truth to that one)

THEN!  CRAP!  The Priest said, "How did you disobey them, my Child?"

more lies....

....heart pounding....getting a little lightheaded....

"...ahhhmmm, ahhhmmm...I sauced my Mother back.  I lied to my Father.
.........(pause)........
.....(I guess he was waiting for more?)
"And I didn't do my homework. (pause)  THREE TIMES!"

(another pause)

"That's it", I said.

Well...He said his thing and I said mine.  I got a couple of decades on the beads for pennance, and off I was to the toilet ready to shit my pants.

But I mean really....I lied in my first confession.

Catholic guilt.